പുഴയോരം, ഓർമകളുടെ കുത്തിയൊഴുക്

It should be said openly; 'I like you!'

SIDHEEQ NADWI CHEROOR

            Love is a term that becomes increasingly complex as it is defined. It is a feeling that has the capacity to both inflict and receive pain. Love is also a trait that shines most clearly as an external manifestation of selfishness in the human mind. Each person loves themselves the most. The love we show others often depends on how much they love us in return. Generally, what we give to others is based on the measure and value we receive from them. When we love our parents, it is motivated by the services they provided during our childhood and the love they continue to show us. The love we maintain for the Prophets is a condition for our salvation and for the blessings of this world and the hereafter, as a result of the Prophet (peace be upon him). When we love another person, the love and care they give us also become significant reasons.

    However, there is another question that a prophetic saying indicates regarding love. In a hadith, reported by Bukhari, which Aisha (ra) narrated, it states: 'Souls are soldiers recruited and aligned with each other. Those who are acquainted with each other, they harmonize; those who are unfamiliar with one another, they disassociate.' Before humans come into the world in bodily form, Allah created those bodies. In the realm of those bodies, there are bodies that are aligned with each other, feeling a special attraction and merging together like milk and sugar. No matter how much the others try to harmonize and become one, they will remain apart like sour and sweet.

   There can be several reasons for attraction between two people. In summary, what cannot be explained to us may be the result of the connection of bodies previously indicated in the world. Beyond that, if physical interests are the questioning behind love, that virtue becomes invisible from the other, or if our affinity or dependency on that virtue decreases, then this feeling of love can either regress or dry up. This can later lead to hatred and conflict.

Here lies the significance of love in the name of the Creator Allah. "Some people associate partners with Allah and love them as they would love Allah. But for the believers, the strongest love is for Allah." (Al-Baqarah: 165) The interest in loving Him is to love for the sake of Allah, to be angry for the sake of Allah. After this, due to the permanence of emotion, it gains eternal stability. It is the wish of a believer to remain under the shade of divine love until the last breath. A mind prepared to give up everything in front of His love. When one likes someone, it is natural to feel affection for him and for those he likes. That is how noble love emerges.

            There are many prophetic sayings that encourage such love. God has commanded through the Quran that those who love Allah should invoke blessings upon the Messenger (peace be upon him). Obedience is a manifestation of love. By obeying the Prophet, divine love reaches its pinnacle. It enables us to love those who love Allah and to show affection towards them. Only such people can truly taste the sweetness of faith. Among those he mentioned who can taste such sweetness, are those who love for the sake of Allah.

            As pointed out earlier, some may have special affection and inclination towards certain people. However, what suffices is the divine love underlying that. Then, among the believers, this manifests as a special bond of love rooted in mutual belief. On the Day of Judgment, during the intensely severe trial, Allah has introduced seven categories of people who He will honor by providing them special shade under His Throne. Among them is a group of friends who have drawn close and moved away in the love of Allah, as is clarified in the Hadith reported by Abu Huraira in Bukhari and Muslim. If one feels love for a person, it is not to be kept bottled up in the heart, but should be expressed openly, as advised by the Prophet. A saying reported by Abu Dawood and Tirmidhi reads: 'If a person likes his brother, let him say: I like you.'

            Anas (ra) narrates: Once a man was standing in the shade of the Prophet. At that moment, another man passed by. The person next to him said to the Messenger: 'O Messenger of Allah, I love that man.' Hearing this, the Prophet asked: 'Have you informed him?' 'No,' he replied. 'Then go and inform him.' Immediately, the man followed him and clarified: 'I love you for the sake of Allah.' The man's response was: 'For whom do you love me? May Allah love you.' Look at the care of the Prophet! He is the leader who knows how to guide even the most beloved feelings among his followers!

Anas narrates that once a prominent companion, Mu'adh ibn Jabal, came to the Prophet and took his hand, saying: 'O Messenger of Allah, I truly love you.' If you like someone or their actions, you should express it openly. You cannot measure the joy and confidence this brings to that person. The Prophet (peace be upon him) has taught us that filling the heart of a believer with joy is a great virtue. What has been mentioned here is indeed a pure love intertwined with divinity. It is not the petty affection of today. No one should take these words lightly, disregarding the deep and sincere love that transcends boundaries. If you openly say to someone, 'I like you,' the response can sometimes be difficult.

         It is true that love can be felt by anyone towards anyone. It is an aspect of the naturally emotional mind. What is needed is control and discernment in expressing it. If love is felt in an inappropriate and dangerous manner, wisdom lies in eliminating the circumstances that could lead to indulgence and growth. After creating a favorable environment and mixing water and fertilizer, it is of no use to lament that it has gone wrong.

            However, the innocent essence of love, which has been preserved in the mind, has flowed and transformed into poetry. Some poems from the era of Umavi's rule bear witness to this emergence as a surreal description. In the world of Arabic poetry, such poems have developed as a distinct branch. The Bani Udri tribe was at the forefront of this. Therefore, they are known as 'Udri poems'. The line in Imam Busiri's Burda poem, 'O those who accuse me in the name of love...' points to this.

        As in all other matters, there is a saying that emphasizes the need for moderation and control in expressing love. While some introduce it as the saying of the Prophet, authentic sources attribute it to the fourth Caliph Ali (RA). In any case, the saying is very meaningful. It goes like this.

    
    In showing love to your loved one, maintain moderation. One day he might become your enemy. Also, keep restraint even in showing enmity towards an enemy. One day he may become your friend. (Thirmudi)

    The misunderstandings that often arise when close individuals drift apart can indeed create significant harm. When those who are estranged come close, they may clash directly. In any case, if you give love, love will grow. If you express that you like someone, love will bloom beautifully.